When God Whispers….Listen

Today I listened.


I listened to my what I believe are God's whispers. 


As I began my day I felt encouraged to spend time with my oldest son.  Funny thing just as I was laying in bed thinking just that he peeks his head in my room asking what we were going to do today.  There was my affirmation.


Alex and I spent the morning together running errands and shopping.  He and I seldom have any one on one time together and it was nice being alone and giving him a chance to ramble on about the most recent episode of Pawn Stars,  what movies that are coming out that he wants to see and his ambition to get a new bicycle and why.  For those of you that don't know, my son's Alex and Paul both have Aspergers Syndrome, which is a disorder on the Autism Spectrum.  One of the characteristics is they can hone in on one subject and run with it for miles without coming up for air.  It can be weary at times but today I truly enjoyed his endless chatter.  I think I needed to listen as much as he needed to talk.


After our errands we met up with my mom and brother Dan at The Mark over in The Eddy Street Commons area.  My sister Clare and nieces Sarah and Rachel joined us.  Dan had business in Chicago and made a quick trip home before heading back to Kansas.  Lunch was fun and Alex seemed to handle the "noisiness" of the restaurant well.  After eating we had time to kill before getting Dan to the airport so we walked to Kilwin's for dessert.  YUM!


I made small talk with the server there asking him which was better….cappuccino chip or blueberry.  He told me that  he didn't like fruits or vegetables due to their texture and while the blueberry tastes good he could feel the skin of the berries themselves when he tasted it, so his vote was for the cappuccino chip.   Now I am rambling!!!  I couldn't help but notice another server there who seemed quiet and stood back a little.  "Acknowledge him"  I heard in my ear.  I made eye contact with him and noticed he had the most beautiful eyes that matched his skin color perfectly.  Imagine the perfect cup of coffee with just the right amount of cream and that was the color.   "Your eyes are just beautiful" then laughing I continued "I bet you've never heard that before!" with a hint of sarcasm.  He grew shy and said, "No one has.  God bless you".    By now the rest of my family had walked out and I stood back and watched as they were making chocolate covered rice krispie treats and we made small talk.  I shared with them how Paul thought it would be funny to make caramel onions for a Halloween trick as opposed to the caramel apples.  The two young men and I stood there laughing and as I was about to excuse myself the soft spoken one looked me in the eye and said "You are so kind".   I was taken back as I was just being true to who I am.  Thanking him for his words I left with tears rolling silently down my face as I thought of the sincerity in his voice and the look of gratitude in his eyes.


I walked away not sure who was blessed more by the encounter.  He by my words or me by his.  I suppose in the grand scheme of things it doesn't matter…we were both blessed.
  
And he was saying to them, "Take care what you listen to.  By your standard of measure it will be measured to you; and more will be given you besides- Mark 4:24

Sadness is a wall between two gardens.

Today I am sad.  There.  I said it.

I seldom, if ever share that I feel that way with anyone.  If I do, I get the ol' "It could be worse" or "There are some a lot worse off then you are" or "Oh please, what do you have to be sad about?"

 Being sad to me has many facets.  I am sad that summer is over and my baby is entering the 8th grade.  I am sad that another summer has almost passed.  I am sad that a dear friend of mine lost her mother last week and another friend has a dad who is in a nursing home.  I miss my friend Scott.  I miss Aunty Barb and my Busia.  I don't deal well with death be it 24 years, 6 years, 1 year or 1 week since they have passed on.  I am not sad for them, I am sad for me and all of us who miss them.

However being sad doesn't mean I am wallowing in it.  It doesn't mean that I am focusing on the negative.  It doesn't mean I am not aware of all of the blessings that surround me. It just means that for today I am allowing myself to feel whatever I feel.  Today I feel sad.

Tomorrow is brand new day.


2 Corinthians 12:10  Therefore, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and constraints, for the sake of Christ; for when I am weak, then I am strong.

Old Friends and Outside Influences

I have many sisters. One that I shared a room with all of my life and several others that I do not remember life without.  

 One in particular has reminded me in the last month or so that somewhere lost in the midst of days flowing into weeks, months and years….I sit.  I have lost sight of myself.  I have lost sight of who I am, sometimes buying into the lies the enemy wants me to believe and hiding behind the obligations and duties that keep us stuck in the every day.  She has reminded me that we all have a story that will break your heart and it is ok to not have all of the answers.  She has reminded me that she is human and in doing so I remember that I am as well.  She has reminded me without evening knowing…..for that Terry, I am forever grateful.